blake’s blog

The other night we (grandma, grandpa and M) were talking about ghosts, spirits and souls at dinner.
M said, "well when you die you are a skeleton in the ground." 
Grandma said "yes." 
Then M said, "but Jesus died for us and we get to go to heaven – when is that?" 
Grandma said, "well our souls go right away when we die, but our bodies won’t go for a long time yet." 
M said, "well there would be a lot of skeletons in heaven." 
And then Grandpa said, "when our bodies finally get to heaven they will be all new, no sickness, no pain, everything will be new."
M looked at me and said, "Gramma – when you get to heaven you won’t have any wrinkles!" 
I had to agree with him.   Sigh……

As my nephew is getting better at reading and writing Grandma has been playing hangman with him.

Recently they were playing with the theme of body parts and Grandma got hanged.
The word was 3 letters long
ending with a D
beginning with an H
can you guess which word M had come up with?

"Hed"  (head)

During a recent exchange between Grandma and M~

M told me last night that he thought he should not go to school today. 

M:  "I think I broke my leg."
Grandma:  "Really?"
M:  "Yes, there’s a rash or something on it."
I told him I had to work, but that we would have Sat and Sun to play.
He said ok. 

Miracle cure.

My nephew called his grandma on April Fool's. This is about how their phone call went:

M: “Gramma there’s a bear Over there.” 

She runs to the window and looks out and says, "where I don’t see it” 

M: "April Fool!"  ......"we gotta do it again." 

So this time he explains that Grandma needed to answer him the right way. She asked him what she was supposed to say, he said:

M: "say Under where?" 

Grandma said, " ok, start again."  So he says all excited...

M: “Gramma there’s a bear Under there!” 

Grandma: "Under Where?” 

And he laughs and laughs and says

M: "I got you to say Underwear – April Fool!"

Then he said she had to do one back to him. So she thought a minute and said,

Grandma: "Michael you need to go open the dryer."

M:"how come?"

Grandma: "cause your spaghetti dinner is in there – April Fool!" 

He laughs and hangs up on her......

did I tell you i had a rat in my apt?
i named it Merle after it startled the beegezus out of me one evening.
One of my co-workers went out and bought me a variety of rat-get-ridders. They were trying to be humane but accidentally bought me poison.
I read the package a few times. I read it out loud to Merle. He didn't seem at all intimidated by my hulking presence in the kitchen nor the imminent death he was facing as I read, tried to read I should say, the bizarre literature included with the poison.
So i poisoned the little bastard. Slowly.
I harbor a belief that Merle had a large family (they live in the Blackberry forest behind my building with the rats of Nimh) and he was spreading the poison pellets with them. i say this because it took so long for him to die.
Now I was warned time and time again that he was probably going to die in my walls and stink up the place for the foreseeable future but luckily he must've gone outside for something and dropped dead.
I found his emaciated corpse behind the building, cute pink nose and all.
Let that be a warning to all the rats in the bushes behind my house.

i was in the midst of one of the funniest books I've read in the last couple of months (Davis' "Girls' Poker Night") when I decided to tear myself away from the laughs to watch "Becoming Jane". Holy crap.........
I wept like a baby.
Then I tried to calm myself down by switching back to the book but I had just gotten to the crux of the love story and started crying again. So I decided to pretend my foot hurt still (therefore all the crying) and blame it on that rather than admit my heart was breaking for a fictional character and the incandescent portrayal of the Divine Jane Austen.

on top of that it was just easter and i didn't get any candy from the easter bunny. i blame my mom for this. i told her it was causing a lot of trauma with ill side effects. she said it was probably certainly causing my foot to hurt but maybe that was really because of all of my temper tantrums. i'm calling barbara walters on her. there should at least be some guilt happening here..........

i was just reading my friend lucy's blog about her daughter's wish not to have a birthday party and it reminded me that my nephew had some mysterious wishes for his birthday party.
my sister was running around trying to get things together but had yet to get a cake for him. Grandma came over and he pulled her aside and said, 'Grandma could you please go and get me a birthday cake.'
So she did, but when it came time to eat the cake he didn't want any cause 'it's junk food.'

??

It's been cold here but luckily sunny. i'm not sure why it should matter what the weather is like since i seem to find an excuse to be inside all the time these days.

my sister turned 34 about two weeks ago and i had made her a purse... well it's outright horrid. it's lilac purple satin. why on god's green earth i thought that would look nice i have no idea. so i told her she should pawn it off on some poor unsuspecting soul in a chinese / white elephant auction. but with the understanding that it cannot be known i made it.

i applied at jobs in DC and San Fran last week. I've heard that i passed the minimum qualifications for the cali job but that doesn't mean much unless they actually hire me. i could handle san fransisco at least for a few years. i keep trying to move east so i can hang out with lucy and her family more. so far no takers though.

i have a lot of flies in apt or at least i'm convinced that i do. you know how people talk about elephant graveyards? the perpetual mystery of where certain animals go to die?  well i'm convinced that flies come to my apt to die. i can't figure out where they come from but i spend weeks upon weeks every year listening to the annoying sounds of fly death-rattles. they often do at least one or two fake death dives...usually landing somewhere in my vicinity.  Does this mean i'm like a fly whisperer and am not listening close enough? should i be letting them out or are they trying to tell me who killed them so i can avenge them? maybe and more likely they are doing it because they are born and die in my apt and it's their only true revenge for not getting out of my crappy building.  They probably are all dying early of the black lung from the next door neighbor's perpetual chain smoking.

I went and visited my family not too many months ago and while i was there my nephew looked me in the eye and asked me why my eyeballs had so much red blood lines in them. i tried to explain that it was probably because i hadn't drank enough water.
He paused a moment and said, well you should drink a lot more water so your eyes aren't so cracked.